face2About Me

My name is Brad Pinch and I’m the creator of afterashleigh.com.  Here are a few things about me:

  • I am a single, 40-something, divorced father of two small children.
  • I was married for over 8 years and have been a single bachelor for roughly 2 years.
  • I have a degree in Computer Engineering and have worked in software development for 15+ years.
  • When I’m not working or entertaining my kids, I enjoy writing and immersing myself in the latest online technologies.

My philosophy for life after divorce is that you should choose a direction and make your own future.

Dreams, ideas, and good intentions only get you so far – there is simply no substitute for hard work and persistence.  I try to apply this philosophy to everything I do in life, whether it be my career, improving my physical health, my family, or dating.  It has served me well.

What is After Ashleigh all about?

Back in early 2015, I separated from my wife of 8 years.  I reluctantly left the comfort of a bustling family home for the dark confines of a studio condo while I waited for my divorce to make its way through the legal system.

As most men who have gone through (or are going through) a divorce can tell you, it’s a dark period of your life.  For me, the hardest part of my separation and inevitable divorce was the unknowns:

Would be financially ruined by the time my divorce was over?

Could I even land a date as a divorced father of two nearing his 40’s?

And most importantly…

Will I lose access to my children?

Divorce was not common in my family, so good advice was hard to come by during this time.  Yet, I had so many questions about legal issues, the rules regarding dating when separated or divorced, and just life in general.

Passing the time as a nerd does

The one good thing about a marriage separation is that you’ve got plenty of time to think about things. Being the nerd that I am, I spent my free time researching the answers to the many questions that were floating around in my head.

Once I was comfortable that my legal issues were shored-up, much of my research turned toward learning about the new dating culture. It had been a long time since I was single (close to 13 years), and I soon learned that I had a lot of catching up to do.

I’m anything but a pick-up artist.  As a matter of fact I’m probably more shy than your average male.  So as you can imagine, I was extraordinarily nervous about re-entering the dating pool as a middle-aged bachelor with children.

My experience with dating after divorce

Once it was apparent that my divorce was going to happen, I took to the Internet to learn about the current dating culture.  I read every article I could find about post-divorce relationships and begin experimenting with just about every online dating site and app imaginable.

Although it took a fair amount of trial and error, eventually I was able to master the art of meeting incredible women using the latest dating technology.  And I can tell you with complete certainty that it was well worth the effort.  I literally feel like I have a new lease on life!

Here are 5 of the most shocking things that I learned about post-divorce dating:

  1. Being divorced can actually give a man an advantage when dating
  2. Middle-aged men are actually in high demand among women of all ages
  3. Many women actively seek-out men with children
  4. The stigma around online dating is gone
  5. For newly-single men, online dating is THE key to dating success

The reason I create this site

I know all too well that getting back in the bachelor frame of mind after a divorce is not easy, especially if you were married for a long time. During my separation and transition to bachelorhood I searched high and low for an all-encompassing guide that would help me navigate this trying period of my life.  I came up empty.

My vision is for After Ashleigh to become that resource

“I have no professional training”

I don’t claim to be an expert on relationship.  I’m surely not a pick-up artist or womanizer.  But I’ve learned a great deal about rebuilding one’s life after a divorce, and I want to share this information so that men going through the same thing might gain from my experience.

Most of the information on this site is about navigating dating and relationships after divorce (as this is where most of my non-family-life has focused as of late).  However, I also sprinkle-in some articles about other topics important to male (and sometimes even female) divorcees:

  • Tips for getting your finances back in order after a divorce
  • Improving your health to enhance your personal life and dating prospects
  • Legal issues that separated or divorced men routinely face
  • The common, everyday lifestyle issues that single men grapple with every day
  • Humorous takes on the comical aspects of dating in general (and there are many!)

Where I am Today

Like most recent divorcees, I’m far from where I want to be.  But at the same time, I have big goals.  My focus is on trying to make incremental improvements to my life each and every day.

When it comes to dating, and online dating in particular, I’m doing about as good as someone in my position could do.  On the financial side of things, there is much work to be done!

Come with me on this journey of self-discovery, self-improvement, and triumph in the face adversity.  It’s not going to be perfect, but nothing ever is.

P.S. About that goal of turning my financial life around..  If you enjoy the free content on this site, please consider reading one of my [ridiculously extensive] reviews of my two favorite dating sites: Match.com and eHarmony.

If you like what you read, feel like they’ve a good fit for you, then sign-up and become a member, those guys will actually pay me a few buck for reviewing their product!  Everyone wins!  🙂