Are you a divorced and looking for love? Have you been trying to navigate the dating field as a single dad only to find that it is a lot harder than you expected? Are you considering going on dates with other divorced parents? Going out with other parents who are divorced can be a wonderful thing to add to your life. But there also are some cons. Read on to learn our top four tips for navigating this debate and to decide whether trying to date other divorced parents is for you!
Tip #1: PRO: Mutual Understanding
One of the most helpful attributes a mom can bring to a relationship is that she already has an understanding of what is required to run a household and care for a family. You don’t have to explain to her your duties as a dad because she already gets it. It can be quite frustrating to explain to a single person without kids why you aren’t available every night for happy hour. A mom is going to understand that and comply with your schedule. You’ll comply with her’s too, because you two will already understand each other and the duties you have to your respective families.
Tip #2: CON: Less Spontaneous Dates
With all that planning and the responsibilities you have to your family, you’ll probably notice fairly quickly that there is less spontaneity in your dates. You and your potential partner have busy lives filled with putting your children as your top priority day after day. But living without spontaneity and excitement doesn’t always have to be the case when you date. You’ll just have to look for opportunities to bring that excitement back into your life. Plan a surprise weekend getaway. Get home early to cook dinner for your mom date. Leave love notes around the house. Find ways to bring in love and laughter in the midst of the very routine lifestyle the two of you live, and you’ll have fun in the process.
Tip #3: PRO: Responsibility and Maturity
A mom very likely will be responsible and mature. That’s something that raising kids and running a home usually does to shape a person. If you’re looking for this in your life, then you’ll likely find stability and comfort in going on a dates with a mom. Now, you will need to be careful to vet the moms you are dating because obviously they’re not all responsible and mature. But, with a little practice in asking the right questions, you’ll be able to discover whether the woman you are considering being in a relationship with does have the maturity you need to sustain a partnership in the long term. Be open-minded. Listen. Ask good questions, and see if you are compatible. Chemistry and stability both matter in a successful relationship. Be wise in your decisions as you date these women.
Tip #4: CON: You May Need to Work Through Some Issues
There is no denying that anyone who has gone through a long-term relationship and had kids with their partner is going to feel pain when it doesn’t work out. Since you have gone through a parting of ways yourself, you know that this can bring some issues that you have had to work through. The same will likely be true of your date. So know this ahead of time to set your expectations. Having been married to someone in the past is going to bring up some issues that are not common for people who are single and dating around to have fun. As long as you are aware of these and can talk through them — including issues such as trust, infidelity, abuse and anger — then you will be able to forge a healthy relationship with the mom you are pursuing. Over time, this turns into a strong, nearly unbreakable relationship. And if that is what you want, you’ll be on the right track toward love with a woman who has children.
Ready to Date?
Parents are some of the greatest people to go out with because they understand family life and the time commitments you already have. This is something that is understood from the get-go and something you won’t have to explain to people who do not have kids. At the same time, you’ll need to remember that time will be limited and planning your dates ahead of time will be key. You can insert some spontaneity and keep things alive by being creative and sensitive to the schedules you and your date have. Good luck and have fun! You just may fall in love along the way.
Brad is a divorced father of two who is navigating the brave new world of dating after divorce. A software developer by trade, he experiments with the latest dating applications and tools so that you don’t have to. Brad writes online dating reviews along with other actionable content for men to improve their quality of life after divorce.
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