The Pros, Cons, and Pitfalls of Dating Single Mothers

Single Mother

Are you a divorced man looking for love?  Have you tried to navigate the dating scene as a single dad, only to find that it is a lot more difficult than you expected?  Maybe you should consider going on dates with single mothers?

Going out with single moms can add a wonderful element to your life.  In my experience, women who spend the majority of their time raising children are a riot when you get them out of the house. And as a divorced man yourself, you probably have a lot of common ground.

But as in most relationships, there are some potential drawbacks to dating a single mom.  In this article we’ll reveal some of the good and not so good aspects of dating single women with children.

Personally, I much prefer dating mothers because of the many positive characteristics that typically defines a woman with children.  To me, the pros discussed in this article far outweigh the cons. Read on to determine if dating a divorced mother is something you should pursue.

Pro: A mutual respect for parenting responsibilities

One of the most helpful attributes a mom can bring to a relationship is that she already has an understanding of what is required to run a household and care for a family. You don’t have to explain to her your duties as a dad because she already gets it.

It can be quite frustrating to explain to a single person without kids why you aren’t available every night for happy hour.  A mom is going to understand respect that aspect of your life and cherish more the time you can spend together.

You’ll comply with her schedule too, because you will ostensibly respect each other and the duties you have to your respective families.

Con: A loss of spontaneity as dates are usually planned

With all that planning and the responsibilities you have to your family, you’ll probably notice fairly quickly that when dating a single mom there is less spontaneity in your love live.  You and your partner have busy lives which are primarily guided by the needs of your children.

But just because dates are planned doesn’t mean they can’t be exciting.  For instance, you can add an element of excitement to an otherwise routine date by planning a surprise weekend getaway. Or maybe just shake things up by doing something out of your or your date’s comfort zone.

Pro: Motherhood frequently bears maturity

A single mother will likely be more responsible and mature than a women without children.  Raising children and running a household has a way of shaping a person for the better.  If you’re looking for these traits in a partner, then you’ll likely find stability and comfort in going on dates with single moms.

Now, you will need to be careful to vet the potential moms you are dating because, obviously, not all mothers are responsible and mature.  The simple act of bearing a child doesn’t automatically instill with a woman traits that contribute to healthy relationships.

But, with a little practice in asking the right questions, you’ll be able to discover whether the woman you are courting has the maturity to sustain a partnership in the long term.  And even if she doesn’t, like I said before, single moms do make really good dates.

Con: You may have to contend with baggage

There is no denying that anyone who has gone through a long-term relationship (especially one which resulted in children) is going to feel pain when it doesn’t work out. Since you have gone through a parting of ways yourself, you know that this can bring some issues that you have had to work through.

Residual feelings of distrust and anger resulting from infidelity, abuse, or simply a relationship gone bad are not uncommon when dating single (and especially, divorced) mothers.  As long as you are aware of these issues and can talk through them (you should be a pro at this, since you surely experienced similar feelings yourself during your divorce), you should be able to forge a healthy relationship with the mom you’re pursuing.

If you are successful in navigating the rough, post-relationship waters with a single mom, the relationship that forms could be a strong, nearly unbreakable bond.  If this is the type of deep, intimate connection that you desire, you’ll be on the righteous track toward love with a woman who has children.

Pro: Single parents are easy to spot, if you know where to look

If, like me, you determine that dating women with children is a fun and rewarding experience, you’ll be happy to know that they’re the most easily identifiable members of society.  You see, single moms are routinely seen in public, with their children, sans wedding ring, and with no man in-tow.

Sure, she may meet all those criteria and still have a boyfriend, but what are the chances that he has more to offer than you?  Not likely!

The best way to meet single moms that are actively looking to date

There is one sure-fire way to identify single moms who you know are looking for dates, the online dating behemoth that is Match.com.  Match provides unparalleled filtering capabilities that make it simple to identify single moms whose children may or may not live at home.

I cover how to seek-out single moms in my Match.com review for divorced men.  You won’t find a more honest, comprehensive review on the web.

 

Dating moms is the bomb!

Parents are some of the greatest people to date because they understand family life and the time commitments required to be a good parent. This is something that is understood from the get-go and something you won’t have to explain to people who do not have kids.

At the same time, you’ll need to remember that time will be limited and planning your dates ahead of time will be key if you pursue a relationship with a mom. You can insert some spontaneity and keep things alive by being creative but sensitive to the schedules of your lucky lady.

When it comes to dating a single mom be open-minded, listen, ask good questions, and see if you are compatible.  Stability and chemistry are two very important components of a successful relationship.  The stability that is inherent in motherhood means you’re theoretically already halfway there.

Have you had success dating single moms?  Do they exhibit characteristics that clearly separate them from women without children?  If so, tell me about it in the comments below.

About the Author Brad Pinch

Brad is a divorced father of two who is navigating the brave new world of dating after divorce. A software developer by trade, he experiments with the latest dating applications and tools so that you don’t have to. Brad writes online dating reviews along with other actionable content for men to improve their quality of life after divorce.

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