Common Causes of Erectile Dysfunction After Divorce

There is a common stereotype that men who get a divorce immediately jump back into the dating game and start playing the field. I personally know many newly divorced men who feel pressured to live up to this stereotype, but they find it difficult to have physical relationships due to a sudden bout of erectile dysfunction.

Having libido issues leads to a lot of feelings of worry and doubt as men wonder whether their sexual dysfunction is an unconscious sign that they are not over the divorce. However, having difficulties with sex after a marriage ends is actually quite common, and it is typically caused by issues that are easily resolved.

1. Stress-induced erectile dysfunction

Stress is one of the largest causes of erectile dysfunction, especially for men under the age of 40.  And I’m sure that you know just how much stress happens during any ending marriage.

In addition to all of the emotional disturbances of leaving a marriage, you have to deal with a variety of legal issues and financial requirements.  This much stress makes it difficult to just relax and enjoy sex, and the racing blood pressure associated with stress will not do you any favors either.

Since divorces are so unpleasant and stressful, it is no surprise that countless men suffer from erectile dysfunctions afterwards. You might benefit from trying some yoga, going on regular runs, or learning other stress management techniques.

2. Excessive masturbation to compensate from lack of sex

During the stages leading up to a marriage ending, many men end up having drastic changes to their sexual habits. In a slowly ending marriage, it is rather common for the couple to rarely have sex, or stop having sex altogether.

This often leads to men masturbating regularly and not having actual sex for very long periods of time. Unfortunately, excessive masturbation can desensitize nerves and make it difficult to maintain an erection outside of a man’s familiar masturbation techniques.

Therefore, the first step that doctors recommend if you are dealing with erection issues is to give yourself a break for a week or two and seeing if your erection quality increases. I know this can be difficult, but it is one of the quickest and easiest ways to deal with ED.

3. Depression resulting from extreme life changes

Even if a man is happy to be out of a damaging relationship, it is natural to feel a little sad, and of course sorrow is even stronger if the man did not want to end his marriage. When a marriage ends, a man may no longer be able to see his children daily or enjoy the feeling of relaxing in a family home.

Depression is very commonly linked to increased impotence issues because erections are just as much mental as physical. When the brain is not in a healthy state, it can be tricky for the body to maintain arousal.

Even if you just suspect that you might have a mild case of depression, you may want to consider seeing a therapist or psychologist for a while so that you can get treatment. I think mental help can be just as helpful as Viagra because it gives you the tools to deal with all of the consequences of divorce.

4. Pressure to Perform

I think that trouble maintaining an erection is particularly difficult for men because it often results in a negative cycle of unconfidence and stress. All of the fear and worry about not being able to perform sexually makes it harder to maintain an erection, and then the inability to stay hard just causes more anxiety.

It can be tricky because newly divorced men face a lot of societal pressure to go out and start having wild flings, but if possible, you should try loosening up a little bit. When you relax and quit feeling like you are required to have an erection, it is a little easier to deal with ED.


These four issues are the most common causes for sexual issues among newly divorced men. Try to keep in mind that it takes a little while for your life to become normal again after divorce, and it will also take some time for your sexual life to rebound as well.

Fortunately, there are many ways to deal with erectile dysfunction, so it is easy to seek help if you are dealing with erection issues. ED is very common in recent divorcees, so your doctor can help you to learn about treatments that have worked for others in your position.

About the Author Brad Pinch

Brad is a divorced father of two who is navigating the brave new world of dating after divorce. A software developer by trade, he experiments with the latest dating applications and tools so that you don’t have to. Brad writes online dating reviews along with other actionable content for men to improve their quality of life after divorce.

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